Just a day ago, I was starting to feel really depressed and dreading the arrival of Thanksgiving day this year.
Since the end of summer, I suddenly haven't been able to eat 98-99% of the foods that I used to be able to enjoy, in addition to having very poor and unstable health. It's been hard enough not being able to have normal meals every day, but the thought of not being able to partake of the annual Thanksgiving dinner that my Mom prepares every year and having to be in the house and endure hours of having to smell a delicious turkey roasting ... I just wanted to cry. And honestly, I did.
Breaking down and crying not just because of not being able to eat my favorite annual holiday dishes, but also because there's so much that I can't do - Simple things like being able to go out on a daily basis, having stable health enough to make plans in the future, hanging out with friends, being able to go to school or having a job, having a steady income, seeing my boyfriend, not being able to clean up the horrendous mess in my own home setting...
I was starting to feel incredibly tired, worn down, physically and mentally exhausted, horribly depressed and demoralized.
Late night while taking a bath, though, I remembered the advice from one of the books that I've been finding incredibly helpful, "Whatever you focus on gets stronger." What you choose to focus on will become your reality.
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“Whatever you focus upon, increases......When you focus on the things you need, you'll find those needs increasing......A grateful perspective brings happiness and abundance into a person's life.”
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I know that I have classic first world problems and try to remind myself that from time to time, but once in a while, I get really tired and worn down and tend to start sinking back into a kind of self-pity and depression. When I'm in those kinds of mindsets, one negative thought leads to a quick downwards spiral of depression and everything seems so hopeless and overwhelming.
It seems much, MUCH easier to slide down that chute of depression than it is to climb the ladders of positive optimism, but like all bad behaviors, you can always just try to stop. It wasn't easy and took a while for my brain to stop grumbling or be cynical about trying to think positively, but once you start to focus on the good instead of the bad, the number of things to be grateful for grows and grows!
Suddenly, the points of gratefulness and beauty in my life became as numerous as the amount of stars in the sky; I went to bed feeling quite content, in a much better mood, feeling lucky, and my heart feeling considerably lighter. It's not to say that I'm try to ignore the huge problems in my life, but I'm just going to focus on them unless it's to study it, try to figure out what I can learn, gain, or grow from it, then trying to solve it.
After all, many things that can be considered problems in our lives can be turned into a blessing in disguise, something that we can grow and learn from. "It doesn't have to be a bad thing." With all things that we endure, we can either get bitter from the experience, or we can use it to get better.
Wishing a very nommy, safe and happy Thanksgiving to all of you~!
Thank you to all of you who support or have supported me with your time, friendship, business, or in any other form. I'm so grateful~
Now to try to get really creative with food substitutes so I can have my own stomach-friendly versions (without any oil, fats, sugar, wheat, etc.) of Thanksgiving side dishes . ^w^
